Dealing with Behavior Issues

by gidget on May 19, 2010

in family

swami's cafe

The last couple of months have been challenging with Gigi, to say the least, when it comes to her behavior. The word “no” was never really an issue during the twos but she has been using that word very liberally as she approached and turned three.

I just wanted to share a couple of the ways we’ve been dealing with some of this. Sometimes these things work great, other times I want to pull my hair out by 2pm. Mostly I just try to remember to pray a lot and remind Gigi of her Bible verses she has memorized (like Colossians 3:20 and Philippians 2:14).

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A chore/responsibility chart:
I downloaded this from (where else?) Simple Mom. I love the way she designed. it. I cut out the chores that fit well for our family and then slid the chart into a plastic pocket {the kind you’d put in a binder} so that I can use a transparency (wet-erase) marker to give her stars. As per Tsh’s explanation, we give her a nickel for each star and she splits her money into three banks/jars (saving, spending & giving).

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We also have a special row on the chart for days with no accidents. If she gets seven happy faces there, she gets a special treat. I’m trying really hard to not always have food be her treat (for example, a couple weeks ago, she got to spend the night at her Yaya & Papa’s house.)

Quiet Play Time/Room Time:

nap We started doing this faithfully everyday a couple of weeks ago and it has been a lifesaver. Every afternoon she goes in her room and plays while I get a few things done and maybe even write a blog post (like now!). It started out rough. I mean, really rough. But gradually the tantrums got smaller and less frequent and now it has become just a regular part of our day (Thank you, Lord!).

An hour is definitely not enough time, but it’s better than the nothing I’d been getting since she dropped a nap.  I used to fight her and still try to put her down and now that she knows it’s not required nap time, she has actually {jaw drop} crawled up on her bed and gone to sleep on her own, or just fallen asleep in her chair a couple of times. Wonders will never cease.

Oh, and I owe LeapPad my life, or at least my sanity.

(Now if I could only get her to clean up the first time I ask!)

The last thing is something more recent and it actually has to do with me. I’ve decided to give myself (flexible) parameters for computer stuff. I am aiming to shut the laptop (except for recipes basically) from the hours of 9-2 roughly. I use it in the morning over breakfast and then don’t open it up again until her roomtime.

I still have internet and email on my phone for little checks here and there, but I think when I am present with her, Gigi’s behavior is better (go figure!). It’s been two days, and maybe coincidentally, she’s been much better behaved during the day.

Oh, and I also try to be a fun mom. That helps some, too.

What do you do to deal with ornery toddler/preschooler behavior?

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Julie Gonsalves May 19, 2010 at 8:26 pm

We’ve just begun being more careful with our computer time like you mentioned and it’s been amazing how much better behaved our kids are when we’re present in mind with them! I also know that when I have activities planned ahead of time instead of just sitting around all day, the kids do much better. Turns out that they appreciate a change of pace and stimulus as much as I do. However, I’m really bad about actually planning things- especially with a baby who still naps quite frequently. We’re considering homeschooling in the fall and I’m most nervous about that one aspect- doing stuff! Finally, naptimes/quiet times are a MUST around here. If the kids (and me) don’t take a break in the afternoon then we all go crazy and the evening is horrific!

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christy May 26, 2010 at 8:26 pm

I can get overwhelmed easily I’m sure like most moms and the computer is no friend to me in those times. I try to escape and all it ads is neglect really. I’ve just recently viewed my activities online as a hindrance and noticed how smoothly our days run with my limited activity. This post was so helpful plus I found simple mom :) I’ll be reading more thank you for sharing! ;)

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Katie ~ Simple Organic May 28, 2010 at 8:58 pm

Nicole, I can soooo identify! My daughter will be three very soon and man things have gotten rough! She also just dropped her nap and I am trying to teach her how to have quiet time or room time instead but she just wants to be with me….It’s SO hard! I had forgotten about that chore chart on SM – I think we might give that a try! I am also going to to try some books on CD for quiet times.

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Brooke June 2, 2010 at 3:49 am

Awesome post. I did room time with my first before he turned 2 and it has been a lifesaver with my second. I also do the same thing with the computer. I only have it on when they are awake when something major is going on or I need directions. Very good thoughts, idea, and tips. PS – i love your memory card zipper pouches. Great idea for mommies of newborns to get their daily dose of scripture. xo

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