Today our little Bro-Bro is two months old! I thought it was about time I shared my thoughts on our adoption process. These were the journal entries I wrote as we were progressing, starting with the first meeting with Brody’s birthparents. I decided to post it all in one place for easy archiving, so please bare with this long post, as I bare my soul a little here.
{written Friday, March 26, 2010}
Today was marked a potentially monumental day for our family.
We had lunch with one of Bethany’s social workers along with a birthparent couple that chose our family after looking at some family portfolios. It was pretty exciting, just to be chosen, let alone to meet them.
The meeting went well. It wasn’t awkward at all and we got along great with them. The birthfather is totally a baseball fan so that was fun. They each have some great goals and aspirations for themselves. Overall, they seemed to really like our family and expressed their interest in adoption.
They seem to have quite a bit of outside pressure against their choosing adoption which must be making their decision that much more difficult. It really does seem like adoption would be in the baby’s best interest in this situation, but I simply cannot imagine the difficulty in making the final decision.
We’re really trying to stay guarded and not get too emotionally attached since nothing is for sure yet. Her due date is April 16th, so we should know pretty soon what’s going to happen. I must admit though, that thinking about having a little boy (!!) about a month before our nephew is born would sooo fun and such a blessing to the family.
Thankfully, it’s all in the Lord’s hands, and He knows what’s best for all parties.
I love this verse that my friend Heidi recently posted on her blog (Heidi and her husband are picking up their son in Rwanda right now!):
“And the Lord answered me: ‘Write the vision… For still the vision awaits it’s appointed time; it hastens to the end- it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”
Habakkuk 2:2-3
{written Monday, April 5, 2010}
Peace in the Waiting...
Since we met the birthparents, we’ve had ups and downs in our waiting. But through it all we’ve felt peace.
I was at the park with a friend, a week ago today {March 29th}, watching Gigi run around, “making friends” while playing with other kids’ toys. I overheard a caretaker (either a very young mom, or more likely a babysitter) call out to a little boy… “Brody!”
That’s our name.
Long before we were married, that was the boy name my husband liked. I loved the sound of it, so it’s always been on the list of prospective baby names for us. My heart skipped a little, knowing that someone who was carrying a baby boy was considering us to be that baby’s family. Will we have our Brody?
Just then, my phone rang, and sure enough, yes, it was the social worker calling.
My understanding friend took over on Gigi Patrol so I could chat.
It wasn’t the best news for us. The social worker explained that the family pressure to parent is so strong. The birthfather’s parents wants to raise the child, despite the birthparents’ desire to make an adoption plan. The social worker is not sure what will happen now.
Then, a couple of days later, she called back.
The birthmom, sweet and soft-spoken, had lovingly stood up to her boyfriend’s mom, expressing her (their) desire to choose adoption. The social worker told me she was surprised. Encouraged.
The birthparents still want to meet us again.
Her due date is in 11 days.
So we wait, and pray for God’s will to be done for this little one.
{written Thursday, April 8, 2009}
I can’t sleep. I can barely type.
Yesterday we got the call from our social worker that the birthmom had the baby!! Our potential, hopeful baby has been born! He’s alive and healthy and in the hospital.
The little guy (!!) was born on April 6th. We don’t have all the specifics yet, but we do know that the birthparents are still leaning towards adoption. That’s what they’ve told people in the hospital that their plan is anyway.
He was born by C-section, and is being breast-fed. This of course brings up the question as to whether this will create more bonding between him and the birthmom, but as our social worker said to me, it’s going to be hard enough for her already. So I guess my feeling is, it’s better for the baby, and it’s all in God’s hands anyways.
If this is the baby for our family, He will work out all the details, and there are lots of details to work out.
I hope to hear again from our social worker this morning with more of those details, and hopefully a little more confirmation if this is actually going to happen, um, tomorrow. I do after all still need to go get some bottles, formula and little clothes that aren’t pink (we have lots of pink stored up but only a handful of unisex items).
It’s so crazy. I knew all along that it could very well be a very quick process, but it’s so surreal to actually have these events unfolding.
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude and feel covered by prayer.
Still trying to guard my heart, but that is getting harder by the hour.
{written Friday, April 9, 2010}
After talking to the social worker a few more times, it’s {almost} official that we are picking up. our son. tomorrow. Wow. Still can’t believe I just typed those words.
We are going to visit the birthparents and the baby in the hospital this afternoon, stay over at my bro and sis-in-law’s place and then head back to the hospital tomorrow (Saturday) to sign papers and take him home.
I feel like there’s no way to truly prepare for how emotional it’s going to be.
I spent what felt like a boatload of money yesterday on some bottles, formula diapers and little boy clothes. I let Gigi pick out an outfit for her brother. I really love little boy clothes.
I’m really hoping we can find the missing box that has the unisex baby clothes we saved from Gigi’s birth. They’re in a *really safe place* apparently.
I’m anxious and excited and nervous.
We’re going to meet our son today.
!!!
{written Saturday, April 10, 2010}
We met him.
It was amazing.
He is so tiny (even smaller than our little Gigi was). He’s so precious.
Visiting the birthfamily in the hospital was a sweet time. They filled us in on the specifics and how things had been going and we talked a little bit about the plan.
The air was surprisingly light, and it definitely did not feel like it was only our second time meeting them. We have a connection. We’ve been praying for them so much, as have our close friends and family, that I feel that they are already apart of our little circle of life, if you will.
I feel such a love for their family, that I cannot even explain.
It was surreal.
~~~
I just realized that I never really put my thoughts down on “paper” after our meeting with them all at the hospital. But I think the truth is that it was much to hard to process, let alone describe right away. The experience was so unlike any other. The relationship we now have with another family is so unlike any other.
The morning we took Brody home from the hospital was, hands down, the most emotional experience of my life. In the lobby of the hospital, our family of three waited as we were about to become a family of four, receiving a most precious and undeserved gift.
Amidst an abundance of tears, the birthfamily said their goodbyes and each embraced us. Our birthmother hugged me tightly and then whispered, “Thank you,” as the birthfather handed over their son to us.
Thank you? She said that to me? My heart melted for her.
I could barely reply through tears, “No, thank you.”
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you for sharing Nicole. God is so amazing and faithful and GOOD.
Nicole, that was amazing to read. Love you and miss you. I hope to meet little Brody soon!
Beautiful…
wow. thanks for sharing! i’m really happy for you guys and know that his birthparents are so blessed by you as well!
in tears. thank you for sharing. i hope to meet brody someday soon!
thank you for sharing your thoughts and trials, it has truly touched my heart. It’s inspiring to read how God has worked in your life, through some of the most dark and difficult times and to see how he has brought you through this in his way with his plan and the blessings that he’s given you.
I had to wait to read this, with all that went on with Hannah.
I’m so proud of your courage to share and be real about this experience. God is so good. Brody is so lucky to have you and your family. This is just amazing!
oh Nicole, I am so very happy for you and your family! tears are streaming down my face as I type. Brody is beautiful. Words are failing me but inspiration, admiration, love, happiness, joy, it’s all in my heart reading your journal.
Congratulations!!
(psst, Leah calls Cameron “Bro Bro”…it’s the most adorable thing ever! xoxo)
Congrats for you! I just read your guest post about adoption and it is so true. I am adopted. My birthmom loved me enough to go through pregnancy and labor, then give me to my parents. It truly is a special relationship. Since I was born in 1985 I had to wait until I was 18 to meet her, but we have a pretty good relationship now. We talk now and then, mostly about family medical history.
What a wonderful and loving thing you have done for Brody!
Thanks for your thoughts Jeannette. It’s great to hear from an adoptee!
I random stumbled across your site, just blog hopping….so encouraging to read. Congrats!! What a gift you have. My husband and I are in the process of adopting, just doing our home study, but it feels like such a never ending process for something you just *hope* for. Its so encouraging to hear stories of babies being adopted, we are really hoping for a baby. Not sure where you are, we are in canada and it takes 2 years for most children to enter the court system, unless like the experience you had, and the parents give them up right away. Praying for that! I am so happy for you and I don’t even know you! Enjoy you two little gems!
Thanks so much for visiting and reading. Thanks for your prayers and please stay in touch about your adoption!
I found your blog searching for diaper sprayer instructions. My sister’s kids are adopted, so I was drawn to read you adoption posts. The part about your son’s birthmother thanking you really made me cry. I think of my niece and nephews’ birthmothers especially around Mother’s Day, and pray with thankfulness for the gifts they gave our family. I pray that they both have peace in their hearts with their decisions and that more pregnant women would have the courage to take the step towards adoption. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Thanks for stopping by, Janice, and for sharing about your sister’s kids and their birthmom.
wow, what an awesome story. My Daughter at age 18 got pregnant and decided to place her baby for adoption. She had just started college and knew that placing the baby in a good loving home was really what was best. But as you know doing what is best is not always easiest. It was the hardest thing she ever did, and it was so hard for me to see her suffer. I told her I would back her decision 100% and that was not always easy, but God was in the midst of it and my beautiful Granddaughter was born and adopted by a wonderful family.
We have an open adoption so we know who she is and she knows us. I used to live in the same town and got to see her pretty much as much as any Grandma would. I have also been included when they adopted two more children. So God blessed me with an abundance. My Daughter sees her Daughter as often as possible as she moved a few states away, but is always calling and staying in touch.
Two years ago she had another daughter, she is now stable and in a wonderful loving relationship. The oldest granddaughter has had some emotional adjustments through the years, as I think any child might. We all keep telling her how blessed she is to have such a great amount of people who love her. She is getting ready to start high school next year and as she spreads her wings I think she has grown into a beautiful young lady, who is well adjusted and happy. My son still lives in the same town and his wife and he often go to her events and have watched her grow up. They have a son and the two grand kids are close, often telling there friends they are birth cousins.
I realize that not all adoptions can be open, but in our case it really worked. I have come to realize that a good portion of the population don’t have a clue and they can say some pretty cruel things, thank goodness God is in control and helps us to overcome. If this sounds too much like I was involved in the decision making I apologize, I am just reporting my views and being Grandma is a true blessing for me. I loved reading your story about Brody
a Grandma with abundance
This brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing this.
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