We’ve been struggling a lot with Gigi the last couple of months. Mainly through the hustle, bustle and excitement of the holidays, but even since then, we’ve been seeing some behavioral and anger issues in her that we want to start working though now, so as to hopefully prevent the development of a pattern in her personality.
Of course, even more importantly, in the long run we want to get to her heart, but practically we have some serious issues to work through right now.
Among seeking wise counsel, looking to the Word and how the Lord deals with us and we can model that with our kids, and reading elsewhere, we’ve been seeking some serious simplification. I might say that that is probably our main goal for the new year… simplifying life.
I recently read the book Simplicity Parenting with some other moms from Gigi’s preschool. We are going to continue working through some of its suggestions and meet again next month to discuss it more, because it has been that monumental for all of us.
I hope to elaborate here on what we’ve been doing sometime in the future, but for now, I just wanted to get something written down to commemorate the journey we’ve begun. Between significantly paring down our toy collection and establishing more rhythm, we’ve been making some serious changes around here to try to make life easier and more enjoyable amidst the craziness that is a family of five.
I’d love to hear from any of you who have read the book, or even if you haven’t– what have been some of the simplifying changes you’ve made that have impacted your family the most?
Oh, we’re also working our way through Tsh’s ebook One Bite at a Time, as another encouraging resource for simplification.
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It is very encouraging to see you guys taking a biblical hands on approach to parenting.
We also saw some unusual behaviors during the excitement of Christmas… endeavoring to keep encouraging good behavior and keep consistent correction over here!
I haven’t read that one, but it looks really good. I’m curious about it now. More rhythm would be good for us I think, but I don’t know how to establish that without being “dictatorial” about it. Also, I’m so wary of schedules and such because that’s just not my personality. I feel so conflicted about it all!
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I was weary of scheduling, too, but to be honest rhythm is more about simple predictability. I’ll post about that part of our process soon!
Forgot to mention – part of simplifying for us is that we *don’t* have a strict schedule – we have a lot of free play and flowing through the day by taking each thing as it comes. We don’t do a lot outside the home.
beth@redandhoney recently posted..Southwest Taco Soup {Recipe}
I haven’t read Simplicity Parenting but will surely put it on my “to read” list. Two books that have greatly impacting my parenting was Don’t Make me Count to Three and Shepherding a Child’s Heart, I definitely recommend them. We don’t have a strict schedule but more of a flow of things. During the day there are certain things to be done by breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc. Everyone has chores that they are responsible for with some that they rotate through weekly. I feel that kids need to be responsible for themselves and their home, just as we are. They function better with some sort of schedule and knowing what is required of them. This makes our life much easier and we can really tell when we stray from it, not a pretty picture, lol.
Those are 2 of my favorite books as well. I love how both of them incorporate scripture and focus on getting to the child’s heart.
I’m hoping to start getting my oldest into a routine of chores soon, too!
Oh how I love this post and can SO relate. My oldest is sweet and caring and naturally kind. My second, born 5 1/2 years later, is completely different with a listening problem while involved in everyone’s business. Ugh. Some nights I feel so defeated because it can be so exhausting spending the days caring for infants’ needs and then working through behavior issues. Then there is the balance of nurturing a marriage and keeping afloat with everything else. *whew*
And yes, you aren’t alone… “Between significantly paring down our toy collection and establishing more rhythm, we’ve been making some serious changes around here to try to make life easier and more enjoyable amidst the craziness that is a family of five.” This family of 6, soon to be 7, took a time out card over Christmas break to donate all extras (clothes, toys, kitchen trinkets, etc), shred old papers, purge anything in the closets that won’t be used in the next six months… Whew! That was my HUGE project. The garage seems still a bit full, but that is life with many people sharing a space. LOL
I think that kids do well with less. Spending time out doors with only a few toys, imagining and creating indoors with couch cushions blankies and stuffed animals, and having quiet time with books or puzzles or a craft. So then where does all the other stuff come from? It can be overwhelming! Especially in a time when prices are going up and there is pressure from Pinterest and other moms to DIY…
Can I share a secret? Earlier today I decided to pass on throwing my boys (just turned 4 & 2) a birthday party with their friends. The thought of unwrapping gifts and finding a way to store or organize more stuff just sounded awful. And the thought of telling my friends “no, please don’t bring a gift, how about a potluck instead?” just doesn’t settle well either. It’s just not worth the emotional exhaustion for both mama and kiddos. What kind of rhythm can be created with constant decluttering or …?
Just know that you aren’t alone. It’s tough to get through it, and yay for other parents who are facing similar challenges and supporting each other through it! Gigi will be a better daughter, sister, friend, etc from the love and care you invest in her.
Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tripp
Hi lovely. It’s me over here. I haven’t read the book either but I wanted to drop a little note and encourage your heart that simplifying has truly, truly, be the absolute best thing we have ever done for our family (Besides Christ, of course
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Since we’ve moved out here to the sticks we have done small things that have made all the difference. We purpose to have dinner together as a family at least five nights a week. It’s hard! We’re in ministry and there are tons of people who are constantly tugging on us to give them our time. So we purpose to invite people into our home once or twice a week instead of going to theirs. It helps our kids stay on a consistent schedule (I use that loosely, because “schedule” is a funny word when you have four small children
, it allows us to pursue the things that we are purposing to make important, like reading the Word together as a family at most meals, eating healthier foods, and going to bed at decent times most nights.
We’ve spent more days outside just soaking up all that He’s made. (“The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night the reveal knowledge.” Psalm 19:1-2)
We give more away than we take in. Less toys, less mess, fewer melt downs when it’s clean up time.
We’ve opted out of many of the extra curricular activities, not to deprive our children, but the very opposite, to allow they to discover their heart strengths. Maybe as they grow up, they won’t find the need to define themselves as a “surfer” or a “ballerina,” but rather as one who has a passion for others, or a gift of hospitality, or a heart for the nations??? If they wanna dance or play football, that’s fine too, but that they might do it not for their own glory but in the constant remembrance that all their gifts and talents come from above. And at this point in time, while they’re all so small, we have been blessed as a family to not be spending our days in the car, driving to endless activities, and instead have found this crazy joy in dancing in our living room, reading Narnia under blankets in the tree house, and playing twister with all four tiny treasures. Days in the farmhouse with the music up loud and the freedom to be the complete real us.
Simplifying is not popular. Business is. But the effort to look less like the world, and more like Christ, is worth all the effort that one might muster up. I have seen tremendous changes in my kids since we’ve moved to this little farm. Their confidence, their willingness to help out and be a joyful blessing to the family, their attitudes, their relationships with each other, the way they relate to adults, their attitude towards responsibility (working hard) their desire to obey without lingering, has all changed for the good. And I’m thinking it’s not because of where we live, but it’s because of the ways we’ve purposed to slow down and to spend our days on the few things that really matter in this life, like The Lord, and the Word, each other, and pouring out Christ’s love as we serve others.
Less doing, more being. Less charts and papers and toys and stuff, and more washing dishes together, reading quality books in front of the fire for hours, and watching him ride his bike over that jump in the back yard over and over and over again.
Be encouraged my sweet friend. Seek His face and don’t be afraid to live differently. I can attest that the change is totally worth it.
Love ya,
Kacy
Thanks, friend. I am *always* encouraged and spurred on by you.
My chronic illness has really made our lives more simple and difficult at the same time. I’m glad for the simplicity it’s brought though. We have all realized what is truly important in our family. We do much less outside our family, and that has brought us closer. We are kinder and show more gratitude toward one another. We delight in simply being together. With my kids, I’ve realized, that they both go through seasons of growth and change and our job is really to disciple them as they learn and grow. They won’t learn all at once for the most part, and our goal is not to make them into perfect children. We want to help them grow in Jesus, love one another, and be quick to serve. We give them a lot of love, time and God’s patience. And when something’s not working we ask for more of God’s wisdom and try again.
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Thank you for suggesting this book. I really liked it! Even though I didn’t think we lived an extremely “busy” life it was eye opening to see ways in which that busy-ness can sneak it’s way into our lives. And sometimes we may even think it’s a positive thing, when it might not be. I also appreciated the way the authors described the consequences for our children and our families because of the choices we make about seemingly “little” things that add up and make a difference in our lives over time. Good Read!!
I’m so glad you liked it! The little things definitely make a difference. xo
Thanks for your encouragement, Allie!